Nutrition Lessons From a Drunk and a Corgi

Have you ever expected to see someone get bitten by a dog?

I had this experience last night, when a slightly totally drunk man in the elevator of my building tried to feed Dunkin’ Donuts munchkins to a Corgi who lives in the building.  The Corgi’s owner said he couldn’t eat them, so the man decided the corgi should wear his winter hat.  In that moment, I thought, “This dude is about to get f*cked up!”

Fortunately, corgis aren’t exactly the type of animals to attack anything other than lettuce.  I mean, look at how cute they are:


These two are so cute, and the corgi in the elevator seemed content to lick the munchkin container and wear a grimy hat.  Congratulations, Mr. Corgi, you are more patient than I!

When I got home I told my girlfriend Katie about what I saw, and asked, “Can you believe this shit?!”

She was far less offended than I, and reminded me that people just love to feed dogs.  Let’s accept that as truth: People love to feed dogs.  From there, I think it’s okay to expand to a more universal truth: People love to feed each other.

It’s why we bake each other cakes, grill up some steaks, make each other dinner, and in NYC, make the great romantic gesture of ordering via Seamless.  We humans appreciate the necessity of food, and share our surpluses, just as our ancestors did after harvest thousands of years ago.  Sharing our food is a completely natural, human experience.

What’s not as natural of a human experience is to have as many options for food as we currently have.  Here’s a representation of what Google Maps shows is close to MFF:

Screen Shot 2016-03-03 at 4.10.29 PM

Each of those red dots is another location where you can get food.  That is the gift of living in New York City, and it is absolutely inspiring and utterly horrifying.  We’re never more than a few blocks from fresh fruit and vegetables, and never more than a few blocks from a pint of ice cream.  (For the record, Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food has always been my favorite.)

Navigating all of these options has an impact on us.  The impact of living in an environment like this may be one that is harder to appreciate for some.  There will always be the juice bar zombies that only eat grass-fed wild-caught cranberries, and are on day 92 of the Whole30.  For the rest of us, I have a simple idea:

Always include a salad.

If we treat each of our meals as an opportunity to include a salad, maybe we’ll create more opportunities to feel better about our decisions.  I thought of using “Always include a salad” as a guideline during a recent trip that Katie and I took to Los Angeles to visit family.

We landed, grabbed our car, and met a friend at their sushi restaurant.  House salad.  We went out for dinner that night, and after perusing 18 pages and literally hundreds of options, I decided between about 20 salads.  The following morning; it was a salad made after Katie’s sister visited the local farmers market.  I literally had 3 salads in an 18 hour period.  If you ever want to feel like a million bucks, eat a shit ton of salads.

There’s a pun in there, absolutely.

Other than my 6-year-old self who through a tantrum, I don’t know anybody who’s felt any worse from eating more vegetables.  And, if we find ourselves trying to navigate our nutrition in the concrete jungle, maybe seeking out the salad is just the thing we need to find meals that fuel our minds and bodies the best way possible.


I’m about to head across the street from MFF to a new place, Taqueria  Diana.   Their Mexican inspired salad is delicious and nutritious.  Unlike our intoxicated neighbor, or that calm Corgi, we have the option to make nutrition decisions that can greatly impact how we feel.  Feeling that much better, or far worse, is entirely up to you.  Next time you walk past 3 delis in a single block, why not seek out the salad on the way?  Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

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